I read this title on another blog and felt it was fairly applicable for different reasons to us as well. Last year at this time, we were really struggling with all the "what ifs" of who was going to get a job first and where that might be and what would that mean for the other person and our family, the house, the goals, the future....
Here we are one year later, voila! I got the job first and hubby's followed the week we moved. In fact, I had a truly wonderful conversation last fall with a table full of professional women who I did not know but took great delight in saying "Today I am unemployed and going to a class in South Bend, IN. I quit my job of nine years in Ohio. Tomorrow I will celebrate my son's second birthday and Monday we will begin packing up our house to move 750 miles away to Texas. My hubby is taking a new job the same week we move and will be wonderfully employed again after 20 months of not so wonderfulness." They all looked at me as if I was crazy. Apparently, they all knew each other and had been coming to this conference from Chicago for several years. "WHY ARE YOU HERE?" Why? Because I'll be too busy to get to another one for a few years and because I can!
We (hubby and I) calculate our time by our houses. We spent 2007/2008 in our NEOH house deciding on adoption and going through the trials and tribulations and ultimate inability to adopt from a different country. We spent 2009 in our SOH house doing all the paperwork and waiting for Kaz. We spent 2010 learning to live with a baby and getting to know our son. See above for prior references to 2011.
Now we are passing those annual milestones that adoptive parents mark: got the call/letter day, travel day, first time to meet you day, adoption day, leaving you day, going back to get you day, forever home day, and all the days in between them both big and small.
Two years ago at this time, we were waiting to bring H home. My mom made that trip with me. I think she got to see me at my best and my worst. More importantly she got to meet her grandson (even though he's number 4 - no girls) before anyone else in our family did.
One year later, here we are in 2012 in our NE TX house. It's beginning to feel like home. Our house in SOH finally sold (painful - we HAVE to quit moving so we can quit losing money on houses). I have a good job. My parents have been to see us a couple of times (and were unbelievably helpful with the actual moving part). My MIL has been to see us a few times. My son is doing wonderfully and amazes me everyday with what he says and understands.
"Mom why for you bring me front loader?"
"I thought you might like it. Your other digger is broken and we can't fix it. I found this one and thought you might like it."
"Oh. Thanks, mom."
He has begun developing empathy and understanding. He shows signs of desiring physical closeness and understanding physical affection. He will lovingly pat me and hold onto me, not in fear, but in actual safety, comfort, and love. His imagination is really taking off and is fun to watch. He is developing a true sense of humor and takes joy in laughter. I have always loved the sound of his laugh.
Of course, he can drive me nuts, too. How is it that a 2GO3 can already ignore their mother or have an air of exasperation?!
Some families have all out celebrations. Other have celebrations at first and eventually meld into everyday life with special moments. We have just merely enjoyed their existence quietly noting them to each other. We spent our milestone Family Day (adoption day) with each other. In our current life, that is the most special and best way to celebrate being a family. We simply spent the evening cooking, eating, playing, and just living. We will likely spend our forever home day in much the same way as it corresponds with Memorial Day weekend. Time spent with family.
No matter how much time passes or how it is spent, you can't help but ruminate on the passage of time. That's what being a family is all about isn't it? Marking milestones and remembering the past while trying to envision the future? In every life and every family, the mere passage of time will occur. Each year will make a difference. The important thing, I think, is to live it.
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