Daddy's Mailbox

H is becoming more aware and more able to convey his feelings verbally every day. That is a pretty good thing. It helps that he now can tell us "I feel better, mommy" enthusiatically after eating. He can recognize when he feels "not right" and can help us on the path to discovering ways to deal with those moments.

H has a set of little balls that came with a three tiered switch back track. There was a wonderful thrift store close to our house in OH that often had great and "older" toys. I got GREAT things there and we have more to pull out over the next couple of years. However, a few of these balls have faces on them: happy, surprise, mad/angry, and one I'm not sure what to label. Anyhow, I have been working with H to mimic faces. Our favorite of course is "surprise!" This allows him to associate facial expressions with feelings and can help him learn to "read" other people better. I'm not sure I would have thought much about this but for two things. First, as a step-mom to a child who doesn't read facial expressions well if at all, it's become important. Second, I read not so long ago that sometimes you have to teach a child to look at someone's face (or something along those lines - can't remember exactly now.) Besides, we are having fun mimicing faces back and forth and H now makes his own faces to me and states his desired emotions at random (overwhelming majority is "surprise" with a few few "happy" thrown in for good measure.)

We are also learning that it's possible to have more than one feeling at a time. Case in point, one of our cats wandered off a few weeks ago (again.) He/cat did this after Christmas and we made a point of telling H "Mommy and Daddy were sad because Howie wasn't home." So this time, sometimes out of the blue, H says "Mommy sad?" I tell him, no, I'm not sad but then I have to stop and think about it because it's usually while I am doing some rather inane activity such as driving to or from his school. I realize he's talking about Howie and when asked he confirms it. So, we discuss the ability to be both sad and happy at the same time over different things.

Tonight, H was having a particularly whiny cry"ey" evening outside playing which is a bit unusual. It's getting quite warm here and we still like to be outside quite a bit which he usually enjoys.

Side bar here, yesterday my son was SO STINKING CUTE he could have been a catalog picture. It's true, he was dressed in gray cotton pull on pants with a dark blue and gray tank top and a dark blue and white flowered hat he was willing to wear instead of a baseball hat since it was so bright outside. He was MATCHING! And, of course, he was running around lovin' life but of course by the time I thought I could go get a camera, he was off digging in the dirt. C'est la vie! Needless to say every bit of him needed a bath from that point on until he actually received one last night.

Back to the point of the post. I finally asked "H, are you sad?"
"Yes, Mommy, yes."
"H why are you sad?" (cry sniffle whine)
"H are you sad because Daddy had to go to the airport?"
"Yes, mommy." (sniffle sniffle cry)
Heart breaking....

See, lately, it's becoming more apparent that H realizes Daddy is gone during the week. He knows where he is and where he's staying but up to the last few weeks, it hasn't really seemed to register as a problem but more of a fact of the situation. H has started throwing "mini" fits when Daddy calls and refuses to talk to him. H sometimes has a major meltdown when Daddy heads to his car without him - even if it's just to put it back in the driveway after parking along the street.

So, I was quite proud when Daddy called later in the evening while we were on the couch reading a book. "H you want to talk to Daddy?" "Uh-huh."

First thing he said:  "I sad Daddy not here."

Daddy's heart breaking...."Yes, it makes me sad, too. I miss you."
"I wuv you Daddy." "I love you, too, H."

(And then note that the conversation is now over. H has said his piece and now the world can go on which means he's done talking on the phone - I seriously doubt he will talk on the phone for hours with friends.)

H has taking to turning on his "puter" at night and sitting at his table made by his Daddy on a stool with his name on it. He "works" diligently typing away at his "puter" before we go to bed. Yes, he's imitating Daddy who spends much time typing on his computer.

So, tonight, when H said he wanted to turn his "puter" on, I said "we can send Daddy an email telling him you love him." "Okay, okay, Mommy, okay. I send sumthin' to Daddy's mailbox."