Way to GROW!

I felt the need to update the blog photo.

H has always been on the smaller side so although we know he's growing, we don't always get those really obvious signs. We even went to the Dr. last week and he still only weighs (a very solid) 26 pounds. In the photo I was using I took last fall he is wearing six month pants (courtesy of daycare since I had forgotten extra clothes) that look like knickers. This weekend, H felt the need to wear his own brown pants that ended up looking exactly like these only THIS time they were size 18mo pants! WHOOHOO! Way to grow!

Summertime and The Facts of Life

Ah! The perfect way to spend a HOT day...digging in the dirt, for both mommy and a 2GO3 year old, and spending time in the pool (both kiddie and big pool.) I cannot honestly remember EVER going swimming on Memorial Day. It was quite hot here today. I know, I know. Everyone says wait until July and you will really understand hot but I do not understand why people move to the south where it's warm and sunny and then spend all day inside a dark house with the air conditioning going.

We had a "get out of Dodge" weekend and spent time with the grandparents in the Big D. We went to the zoo. I was a little concerned that H was not quite old enough to enjoy the zoo but it turned out he had things he really wanted to see so the day went well. We will be going back there over the years to expand the experience, I'm sure.

We also spent time at a festival in a park with several museums. It was a gorgeous day and the overall experience was balanced between interest for adults and 2GO3 year olds. I had read that the Museum of Natural Science had dinosaur bones so we talked H into going to look at the "dinosaurs." Um, well, one dinosaur later and we were pretty much left with looking at dusty faded dioramas which I always find a bit creepy. There was no particular theme to the dioramas but as it turned out H really was paying attention to them.  We walked up to one with wolves.

"Look, Mommy, that one has something. Mommy, that one has something in his mouth. It's a bunny! Why that one have a bunny, Mommy? Mommy, why that one biting the bunny?"

Uh, help me out here Grandma..."Grandma, why that one have the bunny for?"

Now, we have two blank looks for what to say at this point in the questioning. Quick quick ,what exactly do we want to get into at this point in time? Food chain? No, no not the time to begin that discussion. We haven't even talked about why we kill ants and spiders

"Mommy, why for that one biting the bunny?" Shoot, passing it off and then trying to ignore it never works with a 2GO3. "Uhhhh....He's moving the bunny H. He's just picking the bunny up and moving him to somewhere else."

"Oh." Runs over to the diorama window and back to the middle. "Look, Mommy, I movin' the bunny. There more bunny. I go get more bunny. Mommy, I move the bunny, Mommy." H flashes a wide grin of accomplishment.

"Great job!"

So, would that be the end of that subject for a while? Well, of course not. See, prior to going to the zoo, I allowed H to watch Madagascar (which he can almost say). For the life of me I couldn't think of anything that would scare him so we added it to our library of permitted videos. We don't have a lot of kids (or otherwise) videos but there are some I'm sure would scare him. I am not willing to buy a lot of videos. For some reason he doesn't want to watch Nemo which I think would be ok though I haven't seen that one in years either. I have checked out a few from the library about mechanical things but we have to order them usually so it is hit or miss.

Anyhow, we didn't get through the entire movie before our trip this weekend but it did provide a visual understanding for the big animals we might see at the zoo. He knows many animals and we have a much read book "Good Night Gorilla" that also provides a basis for the animals. H insisted on watching the movie when we got home yesterday. The rule is the movie is turned on again wherever it was turned off. We do not start over. Needless to say, I had not watched the movie in years and couldn't really remember the content....

"Daddy, daddy, why for lion sad? Why zebra sad? Why lion chase zebra? Daddy, for?"

"Well, the lion needs meat. The lion used to live in the zoo and now he doesn't. The people at the zoo used to give the lion meat. There's no one on the island to feed the lion meat."

"Meat? For?"

Silent laughing and joy at being absent at just the right moment in time.  Maybe, I need to preview Nemo again before letting H watch....

Saying of the Day: Pity Tool

Last week, H had a potty accident at school (to date just peeing as he's reserved pooping in his pants to being at home with me just before bath time...yay, mommy). The teacher mentioned he didn't have any extra underwear. I noted that's why I brought in the diapers. They pretty much said they won't put one on him anymore since he goes potty almost every 20 minutes. Ah, I could see where that might be a problem with 10 other toddlers who are same age as or younger.

So, off to the store we trotted on Saturday. We had to do some errands and a bit of other shopping (you know the small stuff like pick out a bathtub - did you know that if you order a tub that is 6" longer than standard you will have to pay 50% more - that's a lot of money for not so much more fiberglass). So, we hemmed and hawed about going to WalM or the "red" store (Tar*get). We were at the blue home store which is next to the WalM but it's generally very busy any day of the week except Sunday mornings (good to know when you live in the bible belt). We opted for ease and headed to WM. We were in search of a toilet seat, toddler toothpaste (our first tube lasted about 6 months - our second about 6 weeks - that's what happens when the user just sucks it out of the tube), and more underwear.

Is is the desire to entice your toddler to WANT to wear the underwear or the desire to make your toddler happy (and thereby suffer less tantrums, screams, whines, tempers, etc.) which drives parents to do seemingly silly things such as spend ten minutes deciding on which underwear to purchase?Ultimately we felt a little foolish standing there trying to decide if we should get the multi pack (as in more than one "character") or just go with the standby Cars or should we go with the current fascination of Toy Story? The multi pack has Monsters Inc. and Robinsons as well as Cars and Toy Story but we haven't watched the first two yet so they would have no impact. I asked for the weigh in from Daddy who just said buy one of each and he can pick which to me seems a bit overboard. I am nothing if not frugal/looking for the largest value for my dollar. Seven pairs of toddler underwear for $12 or 3 for +$5.  But do we really NEED 14 pairs of new underwear?

Okay, so we opted for the 14 but in keeping with my character, I saved half until he outgrows his current 2T so we can have some "new" ones to bring out.

This morning, I was pulling the clothes out of the dryer when H noticed the new underwear.
"Hey, what's that? What's that, Mommy?"
"New underwear, honey."
"Hey, that Buzz, Mommy. Mommy, that Buzz!"
"That Woody! That Rek! Mommy, that Rek!"
(Hmmmm, no real excitement over Lighting and Mater...)

We managed to actually get all of the clothes out before he wanted to take all of the underwear into his room and begin wearing them. First, he wanted to wear Buzz, then Woody, then Rex, then he really started to consider Lightning McQueen. He put on one pair and tried to add a second before I nixed that idea. The daycare can thank me later for that one. Ultimately, I said he had to choose and we settled on Woody for the day. As he was admiring all the choices he stated "These pity tool, Mommy."

"Yes, honey, they are pretty cool. I'm glad you like them."

Second Original Post

This was my second original post to the blog that never really made it for some unknown technological reason. No worries, I like the title to this blog better.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Need? Desire? Looking for attention in all the wrong places?

The question becomes, why blog? Before we left for our first trip to Kaz, our agency asked us if we were going to do a blog....blank stare (yes, it's possible through email to communicate complete ignorance of a subject matter without actually saying anything) to which I answered "no" and all kinds of excuses, too busy with work, not enough time to set one up, yada, yada, yada. End of subject and obvious that I knew nothing about this.

When I was a young girl I kept a diary or two and continued on as I grew older. Needless to say, they contained all kinds of special and mundane things like who I liked or my big dream (insert desire to be Olympic Horse Jumper). I have always been better able to communicate with the written word than through conversing. Something is usually lost in that trip from my brain to my mouth. I will not go into how this affects my everyday occupation!

Anyhow, after discovering adoption blogs (oddly enough JUST prior to traveling so there wasn't a huge effect or education during the waiting period), I was hooked on following people (now I know the term is lurking) through their journeys. Why? Validate my own feelings and journey? Compare the progress and trials? I'm not sure really although those things have certainly occurred. I find it a little sad that while Kaz is closed there are no new journeys to follow, no new reveals, no new pictures of back of heads, feet, hands, or surreptitious references to present and future names. Hopefully these will return. I was a little more obsessed (not stalking obsessed but maybe overly interested) with travelers who went to the same baby house right after we did to see who was adopted. Fortunately there were a few and one special guy in particular I would have taken home with me was one of those lucky few to come home.

Back to subject at hand. I have read "blogs" for my professional life and find them anything but interesting on subject matter but a wonderful use of work time when I really don't feel like doing anything and still need to be "at" and "do" work. Of course, my employer has restricted access to many sites but there are those which are interesting in a geeky sort of way and actually provide some modicum of knowledge to which I can proclaim a productive use of time. BUT....the question remains. Why blog?

Really, I think it is just a way to continue the conversation that goes on in my head all the time to no one and everyone at the same time without having to really talk out loud. Maybe someone is interested in what I say. Maybe I do have a need to know that someone, somewhere, sometime, somehow, is interested in my story. I dunno. Which is what my son says quite often even at the age of 20m - where do they learn this stuff?

Oh, and what happened to those diaries from long long ago? Well, they got read by an "ex" before he became and "ex" and I was so mad I destroyed them. However, I have no regrets. I'm pretty sure if it's important for my son to know something I did or wanted when I was a kid I will tell him and if it's a total lie he will never know.

Babe's up there....

You know how everyonone has pet names for his or her loved ones? In our house we have used various ones for H since he was a baby. I have settled on alternately using Bud or Sweetheart. I figure I can't call him "Baby" for much longer or he will disown me even before we get into his teen years....

H is becoming more aware of the world around him. He actually listens to the words spoken around him including music and television (which are limited to ones approved for him thus far about half a dozen each) but also the radio, which he often asks me to turn off when I pick him up from school, and those around him, store intercoms, conversations by others. He will occassionally ask about or repeat a word he hears when he is unsure of the meaning. He has always been keenly observant and I suspect his is still so just not overt about letting us know what he's seeing or missing or hearing. Of course, if something is amiss, a door is open, something is on the floor out of place he is still quick to tell me about it.

It's pretty rare when I get to spend time in the house in a room other than H. With hubby traveling, whenever I have to go into another room I tell H where I'm going and wait for him to acknowledge that statement. We do this more now since we have gutted our downstairs bathroom. This project was supposed to be quick (ha ha) and is now getting to the point of just being inconvenient. I lived in a house for nine years that had a bathroom upstairs or downstairs so if you had to it was always via the stairs. Now, I am finding myself mildly irritated by having to go upstairs all the time. With H in training, I have to admit it is a bit old even for him. Speaking of training, I discovered H's school used a child "seat" that sits on the regular seat for training. It seemed like a good idea. H complains about his legs sticking to his little potty (cheap version without characters or sounds of any kinds). So, we purchased a (cheap version that had generic ducks) child seat this weekend to see if that would help us get to the goal of going poop on the potty. We can now say let's go use your "big boy" potty which he likes to hear. "I go on big boy potty, Mommy!" Let me say he's been a trooper this week. He had an accident at school Thursday and one Sunday afternoon but otherwise it's been Thomas the Tank all week. So good so far. I digress.

I was upstairs doing some menial house cleaning task (accomplished usually on weekends when I have a diversion for toddler sized tag along). Apparently hubby was calling me. H was playing in the entry way (the only safe place for our toddler sized basketball hoop.) Suddenly, I hear out and out laughing.

Hubby and I don't get too mushy or cutesy with the nicknames. We have settled on one for each that is short and fits the bill 99% of the time. For some reason it's just kind of weird calling each other by name so we usually resort to no name as there is only one other adult in the household or the ascribed nickname. I use "Hon." He uses "Babe."

H has been known to call up stairs when I tell him to ask Daddy to come down for dinner "Hon, supper please!" (with accurate intonation and inflection I might add.) So, it was really funny when I heard the backstory to the laugh fest.

Hubby was calling me and when he walked into the entryway, H told him "Babe's up there!"

I have two!

Our drive to H's school, though not far from our house, takes us through more rural parts of the area. When we were looking at houses, we were astounded you get live only 8 miles and really be OUT of town. Much different that we have been used to for a long long time.

We take a "back" road that curves a few times to get to the main road on which the school is located. Almost 3/4 of this road follows a pasture. There's nothing in the pasture except a few trees, some bushes, a power station at one end, and on some days cows.

We/I entertain him/ourselves by singing silly songs for all kinds of topics. "Where Are They Cows" has become a favorite morning hit. Some days the request is to "talk" the lyrics but most days I have the ability to freestyle. I'm not sure what melody I'm using for the words but I at least remember to use the same one each time. Most days the lyrics are:
"Where are the cows?"
"Where are the cows?"
"Where are the cows?"
"Are they outside today."

The verses include: "I don't see the cows," "They must be in the barn," and often ending with some version of "They must be napping." We only have a mile or so to really get it all in and it cannot be started until we reach the field and can tell whether the cows are indeed there or not for the morning.
If they cows are out, we'll, we just do a change up to "I see the cows" as the second verse and appropriate alterations thereafter.

Friday we had a first sighting for us here in our new state. On the way home, we indeed saw the cows, they were out and I slowed down so H could see them only to be informed he COULD NOT see them as my freshly dry cleaned jacket was blocking the view. Good intentions.

But, as we slowly made our way around the 90 degree curve, we spotted a new creature. A real live solitary Texas Longhorn grazing peacefully in the pasture across the street!

From an early age, I have tried to give H various physical motions to connect to animals as a way to not only memorize them but to also communicate prior to being able to say the actual names. We have big scissoring arms for alligators, swinging arm held at the nose for an elephant, claw hands for crabs, and splayed fingers held up by our ears for moose and so on. So, H noted the "antlers" on the Longhorn with the appropriate hand motions.

"They are called horns on a cow."
"For?"
"I don't know but male cows have horns not antlers. They are called bulls."
"For?"
"The longhorn has two long horns on either side of his head."

About 30 seconds later I hear "Mom, I have two!" Two? Well, of course there had just been enough time for me to go onto some other subject in my head including watching for people speeding at me the other direction on a rather narrow rural road but I just had to turn and look at him in the back seat.

Another moment for that hidden clothing camera to capture the pure ingenuity and innocence of childhood. H was holding a sippy bottle and a stuffed mouse against his head where his "horns" should be. It nearly cracked me up to see but by jove he got it!

Talk This One

"Mommy, I want this one. Look, mommy, look."

So, now my 2GO3 understands that he can ask for and possibly (likely) receive things besides the necessities of life - food, beverage, swinging, and these days some TV time.

"H, I'm in the shower. Can you tell me what you want?"
"Car, mommy, this one."
"H, I can't see it while I'm in the shower. Can you tell me about it?"
"No. This one, see mommy?"

Once I've had the opportunity to extract myself from the shower and dry off, it turns out he wants Finn McMissile. aka Bin Msissle - or something close to that. I tell you, it's hard to try to spell these phonetically sometimes. I'm not even sure how he makes some of the words he does.

This morning, our day started in earnest. I just love the moments when he is so animated and concentrating on telling me something he can hardly make it through the words. As we made our way down the stairs this morning, he stopped and just got this look on his face as if he just discovered the secret to the world and it's very survival depended upon his ability to relate it to me. Honestly, I can't even remember what the topic was but it was of the utmost importance to him at the time. Once satisfactorily related, we continued on our way. It is moments like these that I wish I had a secret video camera built into some article of clothing so I could share the child awe and earnestness that he displays at times. I'm sure all kids do this. I know people often rue the inability to retain the energy of a child, but me, I would love to retain that certain wonder and awe the world holds and communicating it is almost more than can be accomplished at the moment in time.

What's so special about Finn? Nothing really. H doesn't even know who he is or what he does.
We've seen this character as a toy numerous times and he has shown no interest. Why now? Of that I'm not sure but he definitelly has the idea he wants one. It was the one topic of dicussion tonight on our Skype chat with Daddy in an otherwise silent but squirmy encounter.

We have Cars 2 but I didn't feel it was appropriate so he's never actually seen it. We do, however, have a book about some of the characters in Cars 2 with four line rhymes describing them and their roles in the story. Along with this book came miniatures of these characters. H doesn't really like them as the wheels don't move. He finds that disappointing. Anyhow, he has latched onto this book of late.

He looks through the pictures and when he reaches one he wants to know about he says "Mommy, talk this one." His version of asking me to read the page to him. I've had to quickly learn who these characters are so when prompted or asked for some seemingly nonsensical item, I can quickly deduce which one he is desirous of having or hearing about.

"Mommy, talk this one. Mommy, this one (he blows air out quickly a few times as if blowing off something.)"

"The Professor and his Lemon team will try to pull off a ruthless scheme. He's designed a cruel invention to blow up (GET IT???) the racers' engines." It took a time or two but both Daddy and I got the correlation and laughed about it.

"Mommy, why osseser want blow cars?"
"I don't know but he's not very nice."
"For? Why he not happy?"

Truly that is the question isn't it? When someone wants to do something "not nice," they ultimately are not happy. What's they saying? Out of the mouth of babes?

What a Difference a Year (or Two) Makes

I read this title on another blog and felt it was fairly applicable for different reasons to us as well. Last year at this time, we were really struggling with all the "what ifs" of who was going to get a job first and where that might be and what would that mean for the other person and our family, the house, the goals, the future....

Here we are one year later, voila! I got the job first and hubby's followed the week we moved. In fact, I had a truly wonderful conversation last fall with a table full of professional women who I did not know but took great delight in saying "Today I am unemployed and going to a class in South Bend, IN. I quit my job of nine years in Ohio. Tomorrow I will celebrate my son's second birthday and Monday we will begin packing up our house to move 750 miles away to Texas. My hubby is taking a new job the same week we move and will be wonderfully employed again after 20 months of not so wonderfulness." They all looked at me as if I was crazy. Apparently, they all knew each other and had been coming to this conference from Chicago for several years. "WHY ARE YOU HERE?" Why? Because I'll be too busy to get to another one for a few years and because I can!

We (hubby and I) calculate our time by our houses. We spent 2007/2008 in our NEOH house deciding on adoption and going through the trials and tribulations and ultimate inability to adopt from a different country. We spent 2009 in our SOH house doing all the paperwork and waiting for Kaz. We spent 2010 learning to live with a baby and getting to know our son. See above for prior references to 2011.

Now we are passing those annual milestones that adoptive parents mark: got the call/letter day, travel day, first time to meet you day, adoption day, leaving you day, going back to get you day, forever home day, and all the days in between them both big and small.

Two years ago at this time, we were waiting to bring H home. My mom made that trip with me. I think she got to see me at my best and my worst. More importantly she got to meet her grandson (even though he's number 4 - no girls) before anyone else in our family did.

One year later, here we are in 2012 in our NE TX house. It's beginning to feel like home. Our house in SOH finally sold (painful - we HAVE to quit moving so we can quit losing money on houses). I have a good job. My parents have been to see us a couple of times (and were unbelievably helpful with the actual moving part). My MIL has been to see us a few times. My son is doing wonderfully and amazes me everyday with what he says and understands.

"Mom why for you bring me front loader?"
"I thought you might like it. Your other digger is broken and we can't fix it. I found this one and thought you might like it."
"Oh. Thanks, mom."

He has begun developing empathy and understanding. He shows signs of desiring physical closeness and understanding physical affection. He will lovingly pat me and hold onto me, not in fear, but in actual safety, comfort, and love. His imagination is really taking off and is fun to watch. He is developing a true sense of humor and takes joy in laughter. I have always loved the sound of his laugh.

Of course, he can drive me nuts, too. How is it that a 2GO3 can already ignore their mother or have an air of exasperation?!

Some families have all out celebrations. Other have celebrations at first and eventually meld into everyday life with special moments. We have just merely enjoyed their existence quietly noting them to each other. We spent our milestone Family Day (adoption day) with each other. In our current life, that is the most special and best way to celebrate being a family. We simply spent the evening cooking, eating, playing, and just living. We will likely spend our forever home day in much the same way as it corresponds with Memorial Day weekend. Time spent with family.

No matter how much time passes or how it is spent, you can't help but ruminate on the passage of time. That's what being a family is all about isn't it? Marking milestones and remembering the past while trying to envision the future? In every life and every family, the mere passage of time will occur. Each year will make a difference. The important thing, I think, is to live it.

Big Boys and Parenting Styles

HOORAY! We have reached a milestone. H went the ENTIRE day wearing Thomas the Tank (these only had the little train pictures so he would wear them correctly and not backwards) at school. I figured it was time to try and see what happened. I packed an extra pair of shorts just to be on the safe side. I got to school at 5:15 and was truly proud to see he was still wearing the same pants and underwear from the morning.

While we have spent a number of hours doing this at home, today was no small feat as he tells me daily:
"Mommy, I go potty at school." to which he teacher says, he always tells her AFTER he's gone in his diaper.

The good side:

1) He has to be potty trained to go to the preschool he has been accepted into this fall (for reasons I'll discuss some other day).
2) No more buying two sizes of diapers decreasing our investment in Lightning McQueen Pull-ups. (He's still so skinny, during the day he wears size 3 and at night he wears size 4).
3) Have to admit little boy underwear is so stinkin' cute!
4) Maybe he will wear more underwear rather than going commando like we did tonight to the mailbox. He has discerned that at time it is not so comfortable to sit around here with a bare butt AND he definitely hates it when the dog follows him everywhere.

The bad side:

1) Pull-ups are SO EASY! Really, I don't have to worry about finding a restroom at some store or whether we have to skip a store just to get back home to go potty.
2) Really, how does one deal with a crying whining toddler who doesn't want to sit on a "big" public toilet seat in some gray boring restroom?
3) I don't REALLY need to do more laundry. I'll have to buy some more underwear. Daddy only gets his washed every two weeks - that's what happens when you travel. You stock up so you only have to wash everyday whites every other week.
4) He still hasn't gone "poop" in the potty.

While Daddy and I usually reach the same conclusion, we get there by VERY different paths on almost everything. Something about being married to an engineer.

Mommy's approach to pooping in the potty:

"H, you have to start going poop in the potty."
"Okay, Mom, Okay."

Daddy's approach (overheard later that day and not quite verbatim as I was quietly laughing and so not paying close attention):

"H, now listen to me, you are going to have to be a big boy so you can go to the big boy school. You have to start going poopee in the potty. You want to be a big boy don't you? Big boys get to do more fun things. Going poopee in the potty means you are a big boy.That's what a big boy means, doing more fun things. Don't you want to be a big boy and do more fun things?"

I don't know which made me laugh more. - listening to to the cross between baby and big boy talk or the idea that my (ok our) 2 1/2 year old needs to subscribe to doing what other kids do in order to get ahead in life....

"Mommy, big boys wear Thomas to school?"

"H you want to wear Thomas again tomorrow?"

"Uh-huh."

So, who has more input? In our world, he will do it on his own timetable in his own way just as he does everything else regardless of what we tell or ask of him. H knows the score. When going commando, he will ask for a diaper when he knows he needs to go poop. One day he will just do it. and never look back - that's just the way he rolls.

To sleep...perchance to dream

Nah. All I really wanted to do this day was to sleep just...a...little....bit....more. Forget the dreams. They interrupt the pure bliss of being unaware of the world around me.

Last week ended pretty well. With H's ability to voice his emotions about being "sad" since Daddy wasn't home, we decided to try Skyping. We had done this a few times up north early on with my folks but H didn't seem to be all that interested. So, Tuesday night, I brought my "puter" down to the kitchen and we skyped with Daddy.

"Daddy!!!"
"Daddy you're here?" as he looked quizzically at the computer screen.
"No, H, I'm still in B at the hotel."
"Oh."
"Daddy, why you not here?" Ay,there's the rub.

After a few minutes of "talking to Daddy" and saying nighty night (as we say in our house from a book that H was given by some friends) we went upstairs.

Step, step, drag feet, step step.
"Mom why you call Daddy?"
"We thought you might like to see him. Even though he's not home, we can still see him and talk to him on the computer."
"Oh."
"Did you like seeing Daddy?"
"Yeah."
Step step "Thanks, Mom."
"You're welcome, H."

Wednesday H was acting up a bit (a sign he's getting tired) so I asked if he wanted to say goodnight to Daddy. "Yeth!" so off we went to our bedroom and woke the computer up.

This time we had to see the entire hotel room before we could talk. Daddy obliged by walking around the room with the computer. Our astute son was quick to point out "There's the potty!" Ah yes, the throne. Men want to sit on it and moms just want little boys to use it. A quick nighty night and I love you to Daddy and we were off to bed. "Thanks, Mom."

So, we will plan to routinely "see/talk" to Daddy from this point forward. H doesn't really like to talk on the phone to him. He usually refuses or pouts when Daddy calls and doesn't agree to talk until I get ready to hang up. We are hoping this will assuage H's sadness and some of the Daddy guilt, too.

Daddy was such a big hit this week. Thursday night (Daddy was on his way home) as H and I were running through our bedtime routine, "Daddy take me to school tomorrow?"
"Yes, H, Daddy can take you to school tomorrow."
"Ok."
"Do you like it when Daddy takes you to school?"
"Uh-huh. I like my front loader, tooooooo."

Good to know that Daddy ranks right up there with the front loader.

Oh, and that little bit more sleep? Well, that was my true Mother's Day present. I like the flowers. The strawberries were good, but the sleep? Well, now, that's priceless.

Saying of the Day: "What For?"

"Mommy, you stop? You stop, Mommy?"
"Yes, H, I stopped."
"What for?"
"I stopped to pick the turtle up out of the road."
"What for mommy? What for you put on side of road?"
"Well, the turtle was in the road and I didn't want it to get hit by a car."
"What for?"
"Well, being in the road is very dangerous. I didn't want the turtle to get squashed."
"What for?
"Well,  a car is big and dangerous and it could squash the turtle and it would be hurt."
"What for?"
"Cars just are dangerous. That's why we don't play in the road."
"For?"
"They are big and they move fast. That makes them dangerous."
"For?"
"They just are."
"For? You stop, Mommy?"
"Yes, H, we stopped."
"For?"
"We are at a stop sign."
"For?"
We are at the corner."
"For?"
"Well, we are on our way home and we have to turn since the road ends."
"For?"
"So we can go home and feed the kitties and Piper."
"For?"

{Insert topic here quickly followed by backseat question"What for?" or simpify using the time saving version "For?"}

Dear Toddler Boys Clothes Designer

When you design little boys underwear, please remember NOT to put the BIG picture of the character on the butt. My son insists on wearing his underwear backwards so he can see it.
When you design shoes with characters, remember NOT to put the picture on the OUTSIDE of the shoe. My son insists on wearing his shoes on the opposite feet so he can see the picture all day.

Every store we enter has plenty of GIRL'S purple clothes. I have found ONE purple T-shirt. Purple can be an appropriate boy color. How about some more purple shirts. My son can dig through his shirt drawer and find his purple shirt no matter how buried it is. Did you know purple goes with EVERY color? Just ask my son any day of the week when he pairs his shirt with whatever comes out of the shorts drawer first. And yes, I have one the next size up so when this one wears out at least I will have a replacement.

When you design pants or shorts remember there's a whole plethora of skinny lanky kids out there. Please do NOT design draw string pants where the draw string is merely "decorative."

When you design sports balls pajamas, remember to INLCUDE baseballs, too. I'm not sure I can hear one more time "Mommy, where baseballs go?"

Oh, and before I go, I do want to thank you for redesigning the Lightning McQueen pullups to include Lightning on BOTH designs. I no longer have a closet full of Maters.

Sincerely,

Mom to skinny lanky sports train Cars purple lovin' boy.

Daddy's Mailbox

H is becoming more aware and more able to convey his feelings verbally every day. That is a pretty good thing. It helps that he now can tell us "I feel better, mommy" enthusiatically after eating. He can recognize when he feels "not right" and can help us on the path to discovering ways to deal with those moments.

H has a set of little balls that came with a three tiered switch back track. There was a wonderful thrift store close to our house in OH that often had great and "older" toys. I got GREAT things there and we have more to pull out over the next couple of years. However, a few of these balls have faces on them: happy, surprise, mad/angry, and one I'm not sure what to label. Anyhow, I have been working with H to mimic faces. Our favorite of course is "surprise!" This allows him to associate facial expressions with feelings and can help him learn to "read" other people better. I'm not sure I would have thought much about this but for two things. First, as a step-mom to a child who doesn't read facial expressions well if at all, it's become important. Second, I read not so long ago that sometimes you have to teach a child to look at someone's face (or something along those lines - can't remember exactly now.) Besides, we are having fun mimicing faces back and forth and H now makes his own faces to me and states his desired emotions at random (overwhelming majority is "surprise" with a few few "happy" thrown in for good measure.)

We are also learning that it's possible to have more than one feeling at a time. Case in point, one of our cats wandered off a few weeks ago (again.) He/cat did this after Christmas and we made a point of telling H "Mommy and Daddy were sad because Howie wasn't home." So this time, sometimes out of the blue, H says "Mommy sad?" I tell him, no, I'm not sad but then I have to stop and think about it because it's usually while I am doing some rather inane activity such as driving to or from his school. I realize he's talking about Howie and when asked he confirms it. So, we discuss the ability to be both sad and happy at the same time over different things.

Tonight, H was having a particularly whiny cry"ey" evening outside playing which is a bit unusual. It's getting quite warm here and we still like to be outside quite a bit which he usually enjoys.

Side bar here, yesterday my son was SO STINKING CUTE he could have been a catalog picture. It's true, he was dressed in gray cotton pull on pants with a dark blue and gray tank top and a dark blue and white flowered hat he was willing to wear instead of a baseball hat since it was so bright outside. He was MATCHING! And, of course, he was running around lovin' life but of course by the time I thought I could go get a camera, he was off digging in the dirt. C'est la vie! Needless to say every bit of him needed a bath from that point on until he actually received one last night.

Back to the point of the post. I finally asked "H, are you sad?"
"Yes, Mommy, yes."
"H why are you sad?" (cry sniffle whine)
"H are you sad because Daddy had to go to the airport?"
"Yes, mommy." (sniffle sniffle cry)
Heart breaking....

See, lately, it's becoming more apparent that H realizes Daddy is gone during the week. He knows where he is and where he's staying but up to the last few weeks, it hasn't really seemed to register as a problem but more of a fact of the situation. H has started throwing "mini" fits when Daddy calls and refuses to talk to him. H sometimes has a major meltdown when Daddy heads to his car without him - even if it's just to put it back in the driveway after parking along the street.

So, I was quite proud when Daddy called later in the evening while we were on the couch reading a book. "H you want to talk to Daddy?" "Uh-huh."

First thing he said:  "I sad Daddy not here."

Daddy's heart breaking...."Yes, it makes me sad, too. I miss you."
"I wuv you Daddy." "I love you, too, H."

(And then note that the conversation is now over. H has said his piece and now the world can go on which means he's done talking on the phone - I seriously doubt he will talk on the phone for hours with friends.)

H has taking to turning on his "puter" at night and sitting at his table made by his Daddy on a stool with his name on it. He "works" diligently typing away at his "puter" before we go to bed. Yes, he's imitating Daddy who spends much time typing on his computer.

So, tonight, when H said he wanted to turn his "puter" on, I said "we can send Daddy an email telling him you love him." "Okay, okay, Mommy, okay. I send sumthin' to Daddy's mailbox."