The Christmas Wish List and Other Things

Robot. Flying Robot. Remote control robot with wings to fly into space. "When can I go into space Mommy?"

"I drew Santa a picture, too. I want a pet snake. Not a rattler. Just a snake."

"What happens if I wake up when Santa says Ho Ho Ho?"

"Just go back to sleep."

"What did you dream about when you were a little girl?"
"Know what I dreamed about las' night?" I dreamed about having fun with Daddy, and Papaw, and my car, and blocks, and fort, and ....."

"What did you think about when you were sad as a little girl, Mommy?"
"I think about having fun at the beach with Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and Papaw."

"Know what I think about when I'm scared? A pretty little bird."

"Papaw?"
"Yes, H."
"I like everything I got for Christmas."

Heard on play date "I got a new red car for Christmas ( just like Papaws)."

Blubbering idiot.....

Today it's real. H is so not my baby. No, it's not because he looks like a little man at times or talks like an old wise man at times or can do so many things by himself, has a sense of humor, or in the any number of ways we can see him changing and growing each and every day. 

No, this post is about me. My friend is having a boy after two girls. They are so excited. I am passing on my current box of clothes. As I go through this box it really represents the growth of the little toddler to little boy. The final stage of little babyness that is represented by onesies and little cute clothes that I see in my mind every time I see them. 

H loves pjs. As I fold them one more time, I really get nostalgic and want to ball. I can totally understand why people keep their baby clothes. Now I admit I have kept some things and have passed on most of the smaller items already. When I did though, H was still my little toddler guy standing In the fridge pointing to what he wanted and curling up on the floor to sleep while we played his night time music. He was still riding a little bike and had to have help climbing on the bed.

Now, all those vestiges of babyhood are just pictures and memories. I couldn't help but just want to fold them again and remember those days when he was wearing the same shirt for the umpteenth time. I had to take pictures just to keep those memories alive. I've included a few. maybe they will trigger sweet memories for you as you think about your once little one.

COTD

We have a phenomenon I call the COTD - Creature of the Day.

Mom, I'm a skunk today. (This is fairly new COTD.) H watches and LOVES Wild Kratts. Our most common animal is by far the general domesticated house cat. Otherwise, our days are filled, sometimes like a revolving door with rhinos, dinosaurs, big cats, snakes, bugs of all kinds, spiders, and these days zebras.

H: Mom, I dreamed about a skunk this morning.
M: What was the skunk doing?
H: I don't know. I just dreamed about one.

I don't know if the skunk was precipitated by WK or by Curious George who finds a black and white "kitty" who turns out to not be a kitty.

Anyway, all day H was a skunk. Walked like a skunk, smelled like a skunk, and even created a skunk "hole" in which to take a nap. All this was good as today was gray and cloudy and all creatures were restless....I even threw Piper out in the backyard. I finally took a show later in the day (after wrestling with some pants I was trying to fix - a whole different story.)

The scene: me taking a shower

H: Mom?
M: Yes?
H: What does (garble garble water sounds) ing mean?
M: What does growing mean?
H: No, THROWING!
M:Throwing?
H: Yes, throwing. Why did you throw Piper outside?
M: (chuckle) I just meant I wanted her to go outside into the backyard because she was driving me nuts.
H: Oh. Do you want to throw me into the backyard?
M: I might.
H: Ok.

Shower stop, ask for return of rug which has been replaced by alternately crashing cars, dry off.

H: Mom?
M: Yes?
H: Can you make my hair stick up for my mane again (zebra mane although most folks' first impression would be punk rock kid Mohawk. I must admit that would be mine and I would groan inwardly thinking - REALLY people can't you just give up on the 80's why do you have to have your kid relive it now that you are middle aged....now I feel such remorse for those thoughts....)?
M: Sure. (Gel done and mane accomplished)
H: Mom?
M: Yes?
H: Can I give you a mane?
M: No, not today. My hair is too long.
H: Like a tail! Can I comb your tail?

So for the next half hour he combed and combed and combed and combed my hair. We were so quiet hubby/daddy came upstairs looking for us!

H: Mom?
M: Yes?
H: What's a beauty shop? (Brief discussion ensues regarding barbers and beauticians)
H: Mom?
M: Yes?
H: This is a skunk beauty shop and I'm a skunk beautician.
M: Ok. Can you make this skunk look pretty?
H: Yes, but I need something to use as skunk spray.

And, indeed, a skunk resided in our home all day today, well at least until after bath when suddenly the nocturnal zebra reappeared.....

Times they are a changing

We always read a story at bedtime. We haven't started on chapter books but we do read some kind of story. At times I change the scenario just to see if H is paying attention and he always catches me. We have a little laugh about it. We often read the same book over a couple of nights.

We have read If You Give a Cat a Cupcake about two dozen times now. Tonight H "read" to me the entire story all by himself. He got 95% correct.

And so it begins

Mommy why does Ns mommy have a baby in her tummy? 

Ns mommy has a baby in her tummy?

Uh huh.

Well she just does. Ms mommy has a baby in her tummy, too. When will the baby come out?

When the baby is ready.

No, HOW will the baby climb out?

Ah, it just will.

Later, 

Mommy, was I in your tummy?

No, honey you weren't in my tummy.

Where was I? 

You were in your Tummy Mommys tummy.

Pretty Girls

"Mom! I just saw some pretty girls!"

While watching a bikini contest on a car makeover show....

The best moments

This morning H climbs into bed and whispers...

"Mom, I love you!"

Super Bad

Mom, I built a spaceship. 

See this goes round and this part booms up the bad guys.

Me: Do you expect to encounter bad guys in space?

No, not really.

Some guys are bad and some other guys are bad, too, but some guys are really bad and some other guys are super bad.

I like....

Lazy Sunday afternoon conversation while we are swinging (and I discover his feet are once again hitting the ground meaning we need to raise it again.)

H: Mom, do you like fish or trees better?
I like trees I think.
H: I like fish better.
I like flowers best. Flowers and birds.
H: You know what kind of flowers I like? Red, black, purple, pink, yellow, and green!

(forward and back, forward back) conversation continues without out any input from me)

I like trees, and sharks, and ants, and flowers, and my house, and my toys, and I like me!

M: I'm glad you like you.
H: I like you, too.

Mommy....

I like you a lot!

I like your butt. It's so squishy.

You can go mom

I am trying to catch up with milestones. 

This past July, H was invited to his best boy buddy's (BB) party. We have been to a few parties mostly of the off site lots of kids and themed kind. H likes to go but these are not yet drop your kid off parties due to age.

We received the invitation in the mail a few days before the party. H had been asking to have T over to play but nothing had worked out. H and I arrived not really knowing what to expect since it was at the family's home. I am not a social butterfly so I generally find these events a bit stressful as well. 

We arrived at the start time and it became apparent this was a family and close few friends party. There was a sort of bounce house and an ice machine but nothing really fancy. Much to H's dismay there was no pool! I am not sure why he wanted a pool. He does love the water but on this quite warm July day he was wearing his usual long pants and long sleeved cotton sweater....

When we arrived, best buddy's mom told us he was allowed to invite friends and H was the only one he wanted. So, she was glad we were able to come. H did his usual hang back for awhile until the ice machine peaked his interest and then he was all questions for BB dad who was operating it. Next it was apparent the 6 kids or so were interested in cupcakes. I sat on the sidelines doing small talk with a couple of the relatives. After gift opening the kids went off to play. This is usually the awkward adult time (at least for me when I do not know anyone). 

I decided to check on H who was playing with BB and kids in the playroom. 

"H, are you doing ok?"

Ignoring mom look

"H, you ok?"

"You can go mom...."

Stunned and cautiously ecstatic mom says

"Are you sure?"

Wholly engrossed in the play room with BB son simply nods yes and returns to ignoring mom.

Mom can't move fast enough to find party host mom and make sure it's ok with her that I skip out for my first ever leave son at someone else's moment!

What did I do with my new found freedom? I went home and ate lunch....hey, it's the quiet milestones we will remember.

She needs help with that....

We read a book every night and for nap time every day. Sometimes we use "picture" books or seek and find books, and sometimes we use short stories. We were reading our Lightning McQueen Seek and Find. If you are unfamiliar with this one, the first Seek page is Mater's Junk Yard.

"Mommy, where does Mater live?"

"He lives in a junk yard."

"What's a junk yard?"

"A place where cars that do not run go and you can use their parts to fix other cars that are broken."

"Oh. I like junk yards."

"When I was a little girl, I used to go to junk yards with Papaw."

"I want to go to a junk yard!"

"Maybe next time you visit Papaw you can go to a junk yard with him."

"Will Grandma go, too?"

"No, probably not."

"Why?"

"Well, Grandma doesn't really like junk yards.

"Oh.....She needs help with that."

Pictures say a thousand words

Proud mommy moment. I added the picture to the left of the blog. This is H's first attempt at taking real pictures. Papaw let him use the camera for a little while to amuse himself while out on a "boys" trip with Daddy and Papaw to see remote controlled planes (while Mommy and Grandma did a little shopping...mostly for used books from the library but it was fun to get out together none the less.)

I want to blow this up to a big huge picture and keep it forever. These shoes will always represent my little boy long after he has grown into a man some day.

Baby Sister

Baby sister has been a random but recurring character in his story telling this spring. To clear any misconceptions, no he has no baby sister and is likely not to ever have one.

"H, do you have a baby sister?"
"Yes."
"What is your baby sister's name?"
"Baby sister."

From what I gather though, Baby Sister is one tough chick!

In one of our more rambling stories Baby Sister beats up a dragon and scares off the Big Bad Wolf.

I honestly do not know where this has come from. He has a couple of school mates who have had baby brothers born this year but no girls.

It's the Little Moments That Reveal the Big Changes

Lately, H has gotten this little completely happy smile perfected at the most random of moments. I do not post facial pictures here but I will do my best to describe it.

Occassionally he will just look at me for a moment and his face will light up all of a sudden. His eyes turn bright and light up from within. His eyes curl up at the outside and seem to smile just a fraction of a moment before a closed mouth but wide smile spreads across his face. For a few seconds, he holds that smile and looks at me like he's just happy to be in that spot at that time with me and is completely at peace with the world. I look back at him and smile. Neither of us says anything. Then, after I smile back at him and registers my awareness of his moment, he continues on. I am overwhelmed with undescribable feelings that are impossible to put into words. Yes, it's love. Yes, it's happiness. Yes, it's wonderful. Also, it's one of the most magical and mysterious moments as no words are necessary. I do not think any words could really convey what it is he is feeling at that moment. At that moment, I think he truly is beginning to understand and reciprocate love.

It is one of those moments that you never want to lose as the pure innocence of life is apparent in that smile and it seems to be reserved for sharing just for me.

Things I Have Learned

Big cargo pockets are extremely useful
Snack snacks snacks and juice/water - never leave home without them
New shoes to "grow into" so not worth it...and now I know why I can't find second hand shoes anymore - they are just plain worn out!

Trying to Catch Up on H Moments

It is very clear to all who know him that H pays attention to things and remembers them even as he appears to hand back distractedly in the background. Each of the topics have been influenced by a book, a discussion, a picture, or other items and moments throughout his days this spring.

As I've said before the mind of a 3.5 year old is a wonderful and mysterious thing!

Riding in the car on the way to school a couple of months ago:

"Mommy, I had a dream last night. The big bad wolfe tried to eat the happy monster but he spit him out and he broke cause he was an egg and my family could not put him back together. I was scared by my baby sister who was the big bad wolf."

He proceeded to mumble something about a porcupine and a moose which I could not for the life of me make out. Only later did I realize he was being influenced by Harold and the Purple Crayon iPad app (which is awesome by the way.)

Lying on the bed in "Grandma's room" for a nap:

H "Mommy what are those pictures of?"
Me "Things in Paris, France."
H "I been there?"
Me "No, mommy, daddy, Grandma, and Papas have been there."
H "My car been there. I didn't like if very much."

After a topic relating to our former home:
H "I just went back to my old house."
Me "Do you like your new house?"
H "I love my new house. I'm happy!"

Random discussion (I can't remember what prompted the learning about volcanos):
I told Natalie a volcano ruppeds!
You know why a volcano rupped?
The five comes up and ruppeds.

Mommy....we're spiders. Not real spiders...just tend spiders.

He finally caught on thet Mother's Day was something that was sort of special. He's not a real touchy feely kind of kid but that day, while I was sitting on the twoilet, H walks up to me, looks at me tenderly, kisses my face and says "Happy Mother's Day" gives me a happy and satisfied smile and walks away....granted he now says it sometimes at random when it appears he may be in a little trouble for not listening but I'll take it anyway.

Bad Bad Parent

I know as parents we all tend to say things that maybe are a little bit scary on purpose to get the kid to do something without quite so many questions.

I knew a mom that was on child number two and had the teeth brushing routine down by age one. Yup, her kids brushed their teeth and LOVED it by age one. It seems I was not so adamant about it and fell into the category of well by age two we should begin to introduce brushing our teeth. This was not done lazily, I did some research and most dentists didn't even want to see the kid until age two. I know, I know, some say go as soon as there are teeth but hey, at that point H was more than happy to bite anything that came his way and I wouldn't have wanted to be the dentist in that transaction.

Anyway, I did take H to the dentist at about 2 1/2. He did ok. We talked about it before hand so he wasn't too scared. He sat in my lap. He stared at the pretty blond young dentist and only slightly opened his mouth. Good news was, gaps between teeth - good things. Okay, says pretty blond young dentist bring him back at age three and I'll show him how to brush. So, thought we had better step up the tooth brushing routine a bit more and create a habit.

We have been working on that diligently and I think I finally have it down into my morning and nighttime routine. Of course, brushing one's teeth means that one might stay up a little longer so there's not much push back except on really tired nights when everything is a battle.

On one such night when delay after delay occurred, I finally told H, who was sitting on the floor in a time out having a fit and not wanting to brush his teeth "We are just going to bed." So, as somewhat expected being a really really tired three year old, he began to cry. Not just cry tired whimper cry but almost hysterically cry.

"H, okay you are really tired. It's time for bed."
"No (sniffle cry harder real tears begin streaming down his face.)"
"H, that's enough please get up and let's get to bed."
"No (same as above.)
"H, what is wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I want to brush my teeth (see above actions)."
"No, it's very late and you are so tired, we are just going to bed."
"No! I want to brush my teeth (see above.)"
"No, we are done. Please get up and go to bed."
"No (wailing by this point) MY TEETH WILL FALL OUT!"

Bad bad parent tries not to visibly laugh and coughs instead.

I may have given him the impression that we need to brush our teeth so that they will not hurt and fall out.....Well, what do you tell your kid when he/she asks why we need to brush our teeth????

It's Time

We've been busy busy with the house, work, school, a 3.5 year old since we moved here. The other night I finally found time to pay attention to some things that just aren't needed any more. We've made changes to H's room over the last year, the most recent addition is a shelf and rod that he can reach so he can get his own school clothes (at his request.)

I began working on cleaning up his closet and figured I needed to get the remaining diapers, pullups, and swim diapers out of his closet (and my car) as well. We never seemed to end up going to the next phase exactly at the end of one box and so have a few left over of each.

I was also able to begin pulling his clothes out that he had outgrown. While doing so, I realized I could put away the baby monitor (still in a drawer) and some other "baby" things. Granted I need to consolidate everything else like all the cupboard, drawer, and electrical socket safety latches but that's for another day. The porta potty trainer makes a great hot wheels car garage when turned upside down maybe that will stay out for a while....

Since we got H at ten months we missed early baby times. I'm ok with that but I feel that in all fairness maybe "babyhood" should last longer - say a couple of years before you move on so quickly to little boyhood. How about 3 years baby, three years toddler, three years little boy, and then maybe it could ratchet down from there. Whenever we got a routine down and I finally was able to function with it, he would change and out grow a stage and into a new one affecting naps, food, dressing, travel. I like not having to travel with quite so much stuff but still, couldn't I just have had a little more baby time with to really make it all indelible on my brain and in my memory? I feel like I didn't do enough to remember it all....

I know I will never be fully prepared for him to be a man so soon but as he said to me the other day - "Mommy, I'm getting so big but I'm your baby?" "Yes, H you will always be my baby."

Inevitable

I have just gotten back to the blogging world with a return to our "normalcy" of part time single parenting. I know that sounds odd but that's our normal. The first night I finished a large book and read for five hours. The second night I caught up on some shows on Hulu. Tonight, I'll try a few posts. I have a lot of material just not a lot of time.

I originally wrote this while sitting in a class room for 6 1/2 hours back in early December. Much has changed since then but I wanted to keep a timeline of my thoughts.

There comes a point in every parent's life when a child changes stages. I cannot honestly identify one point in time when I recognized H was no longer a baby and became a toddler instead. He began to do more, understand more, communicate more, and look a little less "babyish." The past fifteen months have seen an entire universe of changes. He hopes, jumps, runs, talks up a storm (except at his school's fall program where he stood like a statue for twenty minutes hands and arms around his face - my heart went out to him.) He does not like to "perform" but he likes to show Mommy what he can do.

"Mommy, Mommy! Look at this! (as he tried to do a jump he SAW at his gym class but does no even try to do at the class itself. He has participated very little but can come home and out of the blue will execute something exactly as he saw it done at class. He so rarely misses things.

"Mommy, why did Daddy say stupid?"
"He was frustrated by the DVD player, honey."
"But why did he say stupid?"
"We say things sometimes we shouldn't when we get frustrated.:
"Oh."

"Mommy, (insert question here from some past time period as I have to rack my brain to figure out what he is talking about) that happen yes'day?"

Anyway, I can absolutely identify when H was a toddler no more.

Maybe I already suspected it but the absolute knowledge came one day when I picked him up for bed. He suddenly seemed so LONG! I swear he grew 3 inches overnight. He no longer fit all curled up in my lap when he played "kitty." He just feels like a little boy.

It was the first time I had to fully acknowledge that I felt physically H was growing up. It's all good of course. I love to talk with him, play with him (most of the time), and interact with him on an hour by hour basis. The mind of a three year old is a wondrous and perplexing thing. I'm not sad he's not a baby any more. I am, however, astounded it seems to have happened overnight.

Don't Touch Ever!

Life has been so hectic around here for the last several months. H is growing like crazy and saying and doing more everyday. I have a few moments I will share eventually but for now....can I just say if you've had a bad day you really need to talk to a 3.5 year old. His/her perspective is quite refreshing and on my goodness so hilarious....

Before going to sleep (not actually bed time since this is the get up and go potty routine and come into the room to talk to mommy before actually laying down once and for all for the night):

Mommy, I'm going to lay (as in actually laying an egg since we have been reading about birds, turtles, and crocs laying eggs) Pink Duckie egg right here. DON'T TOUCH EVER! (as an echo of what we say about the island cook top which is way too accessible...)

Okay, H (snort) I won't.

Mommy, why you laughed?

Oh, I just coughed. Good night buddy.

He didn't seem to believe me but it sure made my night (which I seriously needed.)